Tuesday, November 25, 2008
This one's for the boys and girls--at long last! If there's one thing that makes me want to scream and drop my favorite eyeshadows off of my balcony, it's the fiance and his addiction to As Seen on TV commercials. It started with some insoles that he convinced me were going to realign his calves (or something like that--I mean, what Tongan needs realigned calves?!). He purchased, and of course wears them everyday with a smile on his face and a ministry in his mouth. There are few that he hasn't preached the undeniable need of insoles to. Now, most of the men in the family own a pair.
Time has progressed, and a few years later I have found myself up late at night, wondering how the magic bullet chops so fast and whether Cindy Crawford has fallen on bad times, which is why she has to slang beauty products over late night television. As of late, there's been one thing that's been holding my attention, but I just couldn't get myself to dial the 800-number and pay-as-you-go with a $1 a month layaway plan. The Ped Egg. Unlike the commercials, I wasn't "embarrassed by how my feet looked and felt", but I'm not the sort to wear sandals in the winter--therefore I don't know what to expect once Spring rolls around. But alas, the holidays are upon us, and regardless of how cold it is outside, it's still completely unacceptable to enter your relatives house with shoes on. So I wanted my dogs to look bad (in a good way).
After reading review after review on various websites, I decided to head down to Bed Bath & Beyond with my 20% off coupon (ya, because I'm frugal like that). I just didn't want to pick up the phone and be one of those "stay-at-home moms that break the bank on QVC" types, and I also didn't want to pay full price (*ahem*..I know, $10). This was to prevent myself from full on craziness, if the egg gave me that "I told you so look" after breaking or not living up to the hype.
I headed straight for the bathroom and started looking for any excuse to utilize my purchase. Since I was at my mama's casa, she kept banging on the door to ask how it was working. I guess the ads were getting to her curiosity too. Boy was I wrong. I emerged fully sanded, and felt as though I were walking on new feet again. It was very similar to that of leaving the nail salon, when you feel as though you're about to slip because your soles are so smooth. The difference between using this sort of product and the kind that you find in the nail aisle at the drugstore is that you get a really good grip on the intensity. I've been cut before by these things, and it takes a while to forgive yourself.
Then I called in the fiance and made him show me his palms. Can you believe that this thing double-duties with men on any callouses they may have from working out? I knew he wanted to swing at me, but we play nice since we're gonna be together for the rest of our lives. I promised him that he would thank me the next time he shook a girl's hand and they commented on his soft skin (actually, maybe I shouldn't have used it on him). So for $8, this little contraption will keep your future bright and unhesitant about leaving your shoes at the door. For any of you islanders who have spent your younger years frolicking shoeless because it just "felt better" (myself included), you know this will be money well spent.
Oh, and this is just one more reason I didn't order it over the phone.