Sunday, January 13, 2008

Men Minding Their Mane...


As of late, I've been doing a little people-watching research on the ins and outs of men's facial hair/hairstyling. I know ladies, this doesn't directly apply to all of you (or at least I would hope not--if so, get to your threader/waxer. Immediately.), but of course if you have a lucky man by your side (or at least a brother, friend or cousin that lets you use him as your guinea pig), then it's always benefitting you in some roundabout way.

As I made my rounds around town last night, I noticed that there were an increasing number of men who had apparently been putting a lot of time and effort into their hair. While not all will agree with me on these points, I came up with a short list of pointers to touch on, when it comes to the boys coiffing their 'do.

1. Forego the below-the-lip goatee (this doesn't apply to the partial style). Unless you've been told numerous times by credible sources that this is an attractive look on you, you probably look like a Chinese goat herder.

2. Sideburns are excellent. I once had an uncle who's sideburns were the only hairs on his head which had turned white. Mixed with his greying hair, it was so distinguished looking. But don't get out of hand. You're not Elvis, and this is no place to explore the costume effect. Keep them trimmed, and remember that sometimes less is more. Oftentimes, the thinner the better. (And on that note...ladies, let's keep them under control as well, yes? I see you with your island sideburns...I'm guilty as charged, but curling them, accentuating them...not sexy.)

3. The shaggy, model-esque, emo, extra-long cut is soooo overdone. I am sick and tired of seeing my cohorts with this sort of thing..to me it screams underweight male who has spent far too much time in front of the mirror, with the intention of pretending that he did not.

4. Always make time for a trim. It's sort of funny how that works, but you leave your barber/stylist feeling as though you look like a million bucks; but then before you know it--and you just can't seem to mark the day that it happened--your hair is overgrown and unkept. Schedule regular appointments. If you have to cancel them, then you can do so. But at least you'll be on top of your game.

5. Slightly unshaven/stubble has an easy laid-back appeal. Just don't let it go overboard. An eighth of an inch is one thing--one inch is lazy.

6. Forget about dying, coloring or bleaching your hair. Especially you island brothers. Remember how that turns out? The word we're looking for here is: orange.

7. Last but not least, we shall never forget the impact of a fresh and smooth face. This is always best for a business meeting, meeting the in-laws, and anytime you want to surprise that special someone with the fact that you took a little extra time on yourself.

5 comments:

Will said...

ahem.... OMG!!! why do i feel like this post was totally written for me!!! lol.... well, just to let you know, i gave up on the Osama beard b/c the middle stage was too horrendous! Maybe ill make another attempt later in life...

Con the Louis Vuitton Don said...

haha..when you were talkin about the "chinese goat herder", i completely thought about will..then i read his comment..beautiful..

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